Ahah! New Look. Yeay Yeay. Not that it's so cantik, but oklah, will do. I just needed a new look to start on my new journey and my new blogging direction! I looked at my previous entries and I thought, I don't have an objective for my writings! Basically they are just lame episodes of my life, ups and downs and the boring everyday stuff. That's why I had no interest to blog anymore. Binti and Ibni each has their own blog which I will have to update periodically with pictures and all, so when it comes to my blog, I couldn't find anything else to write about.Then I thought about my 'Hejab' project (which is still in construction, inshallah), about me trying to be a practising muslimah - so imperfect, so lack of knowledge in many areas- all my weaknesses which are my struggles in life a.k.a jihaad, but often misunderstood as someone who is on the contrary, knowledgable, religious, pious, etc etc. I'd like to clear this misunderstanding because for as long as people think that a hejabbed women is perfect, then nobody would try to be closer to Allah and accept his orders freewillingly or accept the wisdom behind it. So I'm going to bare it all, oops, I mean, tell-all I did wrong, not in the way to discourage, but encourage sisters to try. Put it on, make your own mistakes, but don't judge others for what you don't know.
Because, I'm every woman!, sings Whitney Houston! Yes, I'm just like any woman out there. I want to bring up my children well. I want to be good for my husband. I want that new I-phone ehem.., amongst other things..
Why am I changing lanes? Because everything I do must be because of Allah, and inshaallah this new phase, is for Allah. My imperfections will reflect on my trials, fears, dissapointments (with myself mostly), journey that comes with its obstacles. From today on, inshaallah, I'll be honest with my readers (like so many like that) about whats going on in my head (the one that you cannot see :) )
To start with, regrettably, I missed Isha' and Subh prayers last night as I was too exhausted from this long daylight in summer. Isha is about 11.27pm and Subh is at 2.45am. I'm usually dead right after maghrib while putting the kids to sleep. Habibi says sheikhs/ulama has made a fatwa that allows us here to pray jamaa' for both maghrib/isha'. He confirmed it with the local mosque here. We prayed jemaa' for maghrib and he continued praying isha'. I didn't know he was going to pray Isha' too, and I didn't make a niyyat before praying maghrib, so I had to wait for Isha'. Furthermore, I thought I can survive the late Isha' prayers, but of course, on the other hand, I will be missing plenty of Subh. :( So, dunno lah, if I'm going to join the prayers tomorrow or not. I don't feel like doing it, I don't feel good about it.
Talking about prayers, when I first started to pray again, I wanted to 'pay-back' all my missed prayers. Which is about..hmm.. 25 years at that time minus ages before puberty. So what I did was to pray the tunai ones, and then 'qada' the full set of prayers. I did my maths lah, I thought if I can pray x3 prayers extra for each waktu, I'll be able to 'pay-back' in a few years. It was tough, very tough. I did it for a few months then I found out that I don't really have to qada' for those missed years. But what I had to do was to repent, and pray that my sins will be forgiven. Ameen Ya Rab!
Oh that's not all, this evening I brought the kids out to play in our backyard. I just let them be play with the neighbours' kids and sat on our balcony staircase. I was too lazy to change from my pants to a skirt. My pants is flared and loose but like all pants, it clings on my bootiful butt lah. I should have changed, but I was too lazy since I thought I won't be moving much. Wrong. Ibni was all over the place and I had to get him. Then of course, Habibi came home and asked me to go inside. I was quite defensive lah, but like the malay saying 'Jangan nak tegakkan benang yang basah..' ("Don't try to straighten a wet thread"). So I went inside and plonked myself on the couch and watched CNN. He took care of the kids. Hehe.
So that's my bad for today. I hope I'll be better tomorrow. Inshaallah....
what's your bad today?
16 comments:
tu cue merajuk dengan husband ke tu?
tu cue 'malas nak jawab pasal memang dah sah salah' :D
all the best.
thank you bro :)
Salam...dah lama ikuti blog ni..cute(x tau tang mana..).Pelik yer duduk negara orang ..macam2 benda baru tau..kat sini sembahyang jumuah jumaat dibuat lebih awal dari waktunya..emm...apepun..gud luck sis dlm mengubah haluan :-)
anon ni dari mana? negeri mana yang sembahyang jummat sebelum waktu? pelik ye? thanks for dropping in, bukannya ada apa kat sini pun, merapu je banyak :)
I heard about jama' the maghrib with isya. They said it's something that it never went dark enough for isya' or 'persistent twilight'. Kalau boleh jama' kira jama' penuh lah kan. 3 maghrib then 4 isya'. Kalau boleh then boleh tidur awal and hopefully bangun for subuh.
You're not alone MN I pun time summer selalu missed subuh. Put so many alarms still no bangun!
Mari lah kita sesama perbaiki diri..
Salams Sis Ruby,
Tell me about it! Summer is soo bad for me. So I am already trying to jamak my maghrib and isyak but Subh is definitely a great challenge! Sometimes Nawal gets cranky during subh time so that wakes me up and I can do my subh but most of the time...zzzzzz!
In winter pulak zuhr and 'asr are my main problems - especially if I am at work. My break is either at 12pm or 1pm for 30mins. So kalau zuhr is after 1.30pm then I might not be able to do my jamak zuhr/'asr if I go home at 5pm, because by that time it's maghrib already!!!!
It's difficult to be working in a tightly scheduled office where staff need to be always on the phone so my boss is really picky about when and how long people go for their lunches.
There are so many things that we have to adapt to in this new geological setting. It makes us have to learn more about ulumul fiqh and appreciate all the different opinions. That is why we can't deem someone else's mazhab/practices wrong just because they are not the same as what we practice.
It also makes me appreciate how lovely it is in South East Asia where daylight is the same everyday and there is no headaches about when to do what prayers!
May Allah makes it easier for us to be close to him and practise his commands wherever are - ameen!
Take care and good luck on your next 'migration',
huda
Hi Maknenek, I took a bus from D's blog to your place here when noticed your callsign 'maknenek'. Arhaaa ha ha.
It brought back memories to me as have not heard that word decades! Had a busybody aunty who very sibuk, kaypoh...want to know who's husband fooling around, ask her. Want to hear who's wife expecting, she knows, who's young daughter putting on bra first time, ask her...real maknenek my relatives call her, behind her back of course, ha ha.
So, you changing lanes, huh? Good for you.
Wa, you pakai 'flared pants'? Ada style tu!
You have a nice day, Maknenek. Best regards, UL.
ps, I love your profile pic, so appropriate. You certainly got a lively sense of humour. Ha ha.
i like the new lane you've changed to, already. :)
oh, i too was doing the whole "wanting to 'pay-back' all my missed prayers over how many puluh tahun" for quite some time (off and on lah, when i first got to egypt i was very rajin .. now dah mengeliat balik dah) - but i never knew about the whole taubat thing.
hmm, but how is it different from having to ganti back our puasa ya? and my fear is always this - although of course now, i try my utmost best to not miss any of my obligatory prayers, inevitably i still end up missing some (especially here in egypt when the seasons can run riot on you - tu pun tak sampai to your tahap of 11.30pm for isha' and 2.45am for subuh!) and i fear that although i have repented my actions, i still commit some of those same sins again!!
talking about the missed solat suddenly feel a pang of guilt.. trying to improve myself too & trying my best not to miss any now.. insyaallah..
Glad to hear abt yr changing lanes, perhaps i will hear from yr goodself too *wink*.. take care & have a good day!
k.d : hi k.d, nice to know that im not alone! heheh. inshaallah sesamalah kita perbetulkan diri demi Allah...
huda : salam huda! thanks for sharing, it must be even more difficult for people who work like you. we live like 10mins drive from Habibi's work place,so he can always come back to pray. however, in winter time is too short, but summer is much more comfortable, if he goes to work early, he can still come home at 5pm to pray Zuhr. But you are right, this is indeed like a blessing, because we are now forced to learn how to adapt in various situations. inshaallah.
u.lee : hi u.lee, nice to meet u, and thanks for dropping by. thank god that description of maknenek of your aunt does not at all fit me! hehe.. im not so nosy but cant help it sometimes coz friends in the media circle insists that i should know the latest happenings.. :) tak nak tau pun, tertahu juga :D have a good day u.lee!
blabarella : blabs, not sure if you have the book 'Fiqh-us-Sunnah' by Sayid Sabiq, that would be the most perfect must-have fiqh encyclopedia to answer questions like what we have. u can get it easily in downtown Cairo in english.
aurora iman : aurora, we all same boat lah, trying our best, the jihaad is never ending. inshaallah allah will help us kan. my goodself cannot talk about here lah, wait people menyampah.. hahah..
i tau I kena tulis kat posting yang sebelumni, tapi takut u missed it.
anyway, I want to suggest, name like
undertheshade.com/net
secara literalnya, well, when wearing tudung or hijab, it's like giving shade to our head,
secara metaforanya, it giving shade from api neraka.
but tht is only sugesstion
salam sang diva, its ok to leave the msg at the other post coz i will receive email updates :) thanks for your suggestion, keep them coming k!
salam ..
moga segala urusan di permudah kan..
saya juga akan pulang ke MSia pada 30JUne. Auf Wiedersehen Deutschland.
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