Stressed about Singapore

I'm supposed to be happy and celebrating. Yet I'm not. The reason why I'm happy is because my daughter have been granted Citizenship and my husband a PR, by the Singaporean Authorities. But I'm just stressed out. Because when you don't have a multi-blue and purple notes bank account back home, no one will help me get just some things done. Relationships mean nothing but returning of favour with something brought home from abroad.

Now I need the letter from my house in order to prepare the paperworks that the Goverment needs. They can't fax - it's too expensive. Can't scan - Don't know how. Post - takes too long and I'll miss the deadline and the time needed to do medical examination, getting documents translated, fixing a flight schedule to Singapore in 2 weeks, etc. Does anybody care to help???? No!!!! All these enthusiasm about getting my family to be part of Singapore, and guess what I get from my fellow Singaporeans? I will help if you can get them to my doorstep is the best I got so far. Arranging this with very reluctant people is not an easy task.

I really wonder why I did all that work and spent all that money to try to be part of that world. I really wonder if anyone would do anything for someone, without the bribes and the guilt trips thrown in. Personally I would not think twice if someone needed my help. I would never have said, can you come to my place, we can talk about it here. I will go to THEIR place and lent them my ear. They don't need just my ear, they need my sincerity, and every move I make since the time they spill their troubles to me, is appreciated and counted. There's no official codes of conducts for these matters, but I'm pretty sure its universal.

At this rate, I think I should just forget all those paperworks because I have no interest in Singapore or Singaporeans. I remembered when I was broken in K.L, friends give me money, shelter, food and everything else a damsel in distress needs.
When I go to them crying for help, they immediately stop whatever they had to do and sat with me till dawn. One picked me up from my mom's sub-urban home in Batu Caves when I was kicked out of the house.A theatre director gave me RM500 (I swear to remember this all my life) and make me swore never to even THINK about paying him back when he found out that I was darn broke. A Sarawakian girl picked up my call when I was stranded with all my bags in Puduraya, and immediately offered me shelter, although I've only met her twice before. A nice Penang girl gave me friendship although we're poles apart in characteristics. The theatre company gave me a part time job to supplement my income whilst i rehearse at night. All these, from people I met and knew for barely 2 years. And if I were to call them now, I know they are the same people I met in 1997 and they will offer the same kind of sincerity and friendship.

Sorry, can't say much about Singapore or Singaporeans. I have been dissapointed too many times. I loathe 9th August 1965, it shouldnt have happened. My grandpa is Malaysian, my mother and her family are all malaysians... and here I'm stucked in the so called sophisticated nation--BULL! No one keeps promises in Singapore, Relationships are only nurtured if you're someone important, usually on SMSs. No birthday cards except from the Insurance Agent, No one will visit you if you live in an L-shape or 2 room house. If you can't contribute to the economy, then you're just useless, jailed or disabled.

Now, should my husband waste more money on medical examinations, translating, air ticket to Singapore? Hmmm, and I havent even thought about where he CAN stay when he is there for a day. How weird isnt it. Calling it home, when I have None to begin with.