Just Do It - For HIM!

These days, there is an overwhelming feeling of extremities. Feelings of happiness, of lost, of hope, of joy, of uncertainty. Maybe I'm just an emotional freak like always.

Out of nowhere, sometimes, I get 'signs' or some feelings that cannot be brushed off. Like recently, I've been thinking a lot about contacting my parents - for a simple reason - to tell them I have another child - which makes them grandparents by now, if that would make any difference at all. Anyway, I have to do my part. If they chose to abandon us (me and sis), that's their problem, but I don't want the burden and guilt of severing ties to be on my shoulder.

Then, I received an sms from someone, I don't know who cause my old mobile was down and I lost all the numbers in there (yeah, if you're my friend and reading this, please send me your numbers on email..hehe). But my heart knew who that was, there was no way to predict it by the contents or the number (its new), but today, I caught up with her on msn, and am glad I did. It was Allah at work again. My friend R, who have a lot going on for her already, broken relationship, mother who recently lost both legs due to diabetes, a very young brother who got married and now separated from his also-very young wife. Sisters with problems of their own. She, left on her own. The 2nd one in the family, the only one not married, but the only one who have been the pillar of the family - monetarily. Now, got herself into another relationship, but a clear test from Allah, as he is a staunch catholic. With all that is going on for her, what will prevent her from making another mistake, but a weak feeling at her heart, a faint sign that it is the wrong choice?

Wanting everything 'western' did not only stop at clothes, music, films, watches, sunglasses, but another appetizing delight is.. a western man. The man who we see in those films, wore those clothes, sings those songs... GO WEST, the song also goes. He opens car doors, he sends bouquets of flowers, cute little notes on your chocolate box. My teenage romance books have always been about blonde football-star college hunks with brooding good looks, JUST SHOOT ME...please? Anyway, back to the topic, what would stop us from having him on the plate if he offers it? For an Asian woman, that also spells, financial security (not necessarily true), a chance to trot around the globe, and a beautiful product of love - a eurasion kiddo. He is a dream – the only difference is that, he prays to the wrong god.

One friend has already signed her life away on a document for the sake of marriage. I feel hugely responsible for that because I have introduced her to the world of Internet. There is nothing I can do to stop the marriage – I was last to know anyway. Some others have their hearts broken several times finding love in the web (it’s an irony!!!). How do you convince a friend who finally found her knight (not pahlawan), to dumb him because of Allah? No, not so easy, especially because, Allah just literally means God, but technically, practically, spiritually, HE is nowhere in sight.

‘He don’t want to convert’ would be the last thing I would worry about if I were her, but to her, and many other woman in the same position as her, it would mean, she cannot have him, or …worst, the alternative, I have to marry him in a civil court lah. (Darn, cannot invite relatives!) Many efforts have to be made to convince him to attend the Conversion Courses (if he agrees to convert for the sake of marriage so that the wife can invite her relatives to the wedding).

The only chance, is for her to learn to love Allah again. And when she sees how beautiful and great HIS love is, losing a Western man’s love, is not that big a deal. But no, the root of the problem is one’s own faith. Without knowing our Allah, without loving him, how can we ever convince our partners to join us in worshipping HIM? Do we really KNOW Allah? Sure, some of us don’t pray, don’t do what he says, so when the time comes to choose between HIM and something else, we will find it easy to do ‘something else’ as it’s not really a brand new idea anyway.

Can we make Allah central in our life’s decisions? It is not that hard. When Allah is our base for all of our decisions in life, you can’t want to be good; you want to be better, for there is no limit to the word ‘good’. If there are some disturbances in my life in anyway, I seek refuge in Allah. I seek refuge in HIM and seek HIS help, to be a better wife, a better mother, a better friend, a better daughter, better sister, and all the roles that he has made me, an actor in HIS stage, play…or more aptly, his humble servant.

Oh that devil, he wouldn’t spare a minute in trying to distract us. R just said that a friend who went to the Conversion Course told her how the people there were praying the wrong way. Based on that friend’s knowledge about how people should pray. So I explained to R about the 4 schools of thought that are acceptable according to the Sunnah Al-Jemaah. I recalled this feeling of resentment towards Islam that I used to have just as I was approaching it. I remembered reading some books I borrowed from the library, and getting upset because the Prophet had more than 4 wives, and how Islamic system is unfair towards woman. Astarafirghullahalazeem (May Allah forgive me). Whereas it was Islam which liberated women folk. Before Islam, woman were lowly regarded, were even killed alive whether they were a baby or toddler. There are other instances, where friends who were contemplating about coming back to the paths have told me, and that certainly have made them stray further away from the truth, instead of going to look for it. A’uzubillahiminashaitannirajeeem! (We even have to recite this during prayers) The devil is crafty.

If we think of Allah, even just sometimes, it is a sign that he loves us. It is a mercy from Him to us. We should be thankful for many things he gives us, but we brood over the things we don’t have instead. Why do we need to stall for time until we are ready (coz it might just be too late) to learn about Allah?

Being weak is not an excuse, its a challenge.

I wished I knew earlier.