On how I grew up in Malaysia

If you do maths, you'll probably not understand why someone who technically spends most of her life in Singapore would claim that she grew up in Malaysia. (Ni nak cerita sikit lah pasai kehidupan di Mesia, infectious lah bila baca cerita Nazrah, Uja, Kak Teh, dan ramai lagi!

Lineagewise, most Singaporeans must be related to Malaysia in someway or other. For me, my aruah atuk was a true-blue Malaccan, and my natural mom is from Pahang. When atuk was alive, we spend every holidays in Malacca at the kampung where he would work on his tanah growing crops. That was very satisfying for the old man who by then lives in a HDB Pigeon Hole in Singapore. I wouldn' say I'm totally elated for those times at the kampung. 'Banyak nyamuk lah!'....'Mak! Jamban tu ada lipas, cicak, camana nak pergi!' or even better 'Mak, lepas ber*k, t*ik tu pergi mana?'...Well, I was a curious child...

However, I warmed up quickly to the neighbour's children and all the anak buah, and soon, we have a group of 'masak-masak' kakis. My modern dressing is admired by boys and girls alike, but frowned upon by the elders. 'Anak dara tak baik pakai seluar...'

Anyways, it was years later that I decided to make that migration on my own, and headed towards my mom's place, eventhough I never really known her all my life. My mom and her new family lived somewhere in Batu Caves area, very far from downtown K.L, but it was a cheap alternative for the family who just moved to Selangor from Perak. I used to wake up at 5am, to catch the bus at 6am, to be in Hilton, K.L (where the office I worked for is) by 8am. Thank god at this time, new comfortable air-con buses are available, but how would it help when at 6am, the dew of the morning can already give you chills and sinusses. Or at 6pm in the evening, the bus will be overloaded and the aircon will not even be felt. I actually learnt all the Malay hits during those bus trips, and at that time, kumpulan SPIN was the IN thing. Why can't they have windows as another option allowing some nauseous passengers to breathe? Sometimes I had to take the notorious pink mini-bus from work to the main station near Pudu Raya (Lupa lak nama tempat tu). Oh, I have been in that bus when it changes its route to the driver's fancy and when it drove up the pavement instead of the road to avoid the daily traffic! And then they were banned... I was still there.

I was there when the whole of K.L blacked out. How can I forget the day my mom told me to find another place to live, and a good friend of mine then, came and helped me with my stuffs and we were sitting, pondering about life (mine, mostly..ahaks!) when the lights went off. We got some candles from inside the house, and continued talking..about me. Muahhahaha...

I was also there when taxi drivers were unreasonably charging their passengers and hiding their meters with towels. And then the JPJ gave them a strict warning and will revoke their licenses, and I could use that to threaten taxi drivers who tries to extort money from me.

At this time, I already found theatre in K.L and was rehearsing for an English musical, Nadra. I still remember when I saw the audition ad in the Star calling for actors, and my mom saw that I was interested. She said, 'Kau tu gemuk, siapa nak kasi kau berlakon'.. I was quick to retort, 'Takkanlah heroine je yang berlakon, ada jugak watak lain kan?' Dwelling in theatre has always been frowned upon by my families whether in Singapore or K.L. And I wasn't that fat lah!

Since I grew up in Singapore and could speak English relatively well, it was easy for me to fit in the Theatre crowd. Apparently, the English theatre scene in K.L is considered Elitist. Once a theatre activist was asked to comment on that and she said 'Theatre only become Elitist, when the English language is...' How true, my 12 year old step-sister can't make a sentence in English, whilst my 5 year old cousins in Singapore could already write essays. However, I wouldn't compare the level of English speaking Malaysians to Singaporeans... I personally find Malaysians who speaks English, more articulate, whereas in Singapore, though most people speak English, can't speak proper English! Try talking to anyone my age in Singapore, and see if you understand. Or no need, try hopping to a true-blue Singaporean youngster blog... I even sms in proper English whilst I get 'U dun wan 2 cum 2 c me izit?' kinda lingo. Aiyoh!!! The thing is, they don't realise they do it when they write to foreigners too! How very embarassing! The Singaporean teenager can usually include up to 3-4 bad words just to say one sentence. Though sometimes harmless, it's still off-putting. I learnt my lesson. I finished my sentence with a light-hearted 'Pant*t' (it means Bum to Singaporean malays) to show my disgust about something and I was told off almost immediately. It means something else with the Malaysian Malays! Sori lah kak, sumpah saya tak tahu!

Though I tried to use as many 'kut' and 'karang' as possible, its still easy for most folks to identify my Singaporeaness. 'Oi budak Singapor', I once heard someone shout behind me whilst walking towards Dataran Merdeka for my rehearsals. Agaknya, because I looked pretty cool kut to be walking in Central Market areas!

Malaysia thought me how to live. I am no longer the brand-concious Singaporean teenager (read :brat) that I was. I could never be seen in jeans other than Levi's or Guess, and checking out other people's jeans became somewhat a natural bad habit. And then one day, while I was lepak-king with my theatre buddies, I noticed my buddy who is a lawyer, daughter of some datuk, overseas-graduate girl, was wearing an unnamed, unknown pair of jeans. She even boasted that her kurta top was a bargain from Masjid India. For a then 18 or 19 year old girl, it was a revoluton. It means that I should stop being what Levi's wants me to be, and start being my ownself! I didn't realise how shallow my Singaporean friends were until then! (Sori ah members...)

Yes, it was in Malaysia that I really grew up. Malaysia taught me that without education, I cannot go anywhere and although that O-Levels certificate could get me a job as a receptionist in a Singapore office, it meant nothing in Malaysia, where I can't even be employed as a maid! I was employed illegally by that travel office recommended by my step-father. The company tried to get me an employment permit, but failed. So I was going in and out of Malaysia to get my visa extended at the Johor Immigrations. Sometimes, when I had to be in K.L urgently, I just go into Singapore woodland's checkpoints, and detoured back to J.B!

Malaysia gave me renewed self-confidence and I was almost ready for anything. I came back and continued my studies with the 5-figure income that I just earned in Malaysia during my last gig, my blood and sweat money. If the goverment's administration were more lenient, my application to become a Malaysian citizen would'nt have been turned down because I was not even 21 and my mother had to pre-approve my decision.

Malaysia... walaupun kau bukan negaraku, takkan ku teragak-agak untuk menumpahkan darahku buat mu.

Happy Belated Birthday to You

Oh, btw, this is for my mother!