Surviving EGYPT Ep. 2 Season 4

2nd week :
Habibi left us the whole day today unlike last week when he leaves for the office later and comes home earlier. This week, the seminar started, so 8-9 hours of waiting for him can be a torture if not for my new-found hobby - decorating our apartment. He didn"t even have time to come up afterwards and had me wait by the main road so that we can run off straight to the office. I didn"t even realise the time went by, but now I"m typing on one of the PC's available to waste the time away while he interviews a new potential staff. Binti finally got tired fell asleep so I put her on 2 office chairs facing each other.

Tonite, we will finally be getting our new mattress and will be moving into my freshly painted apartment. Drama is brewing up in the apartment above and below us. For those who don't quite understand this living arrangement, I can only describe our house like that of a shophouse apartment. Habibi"s family has invested on this plot of land and have built 3 levels of apartments on it. There are other apartments besides ours. They rented out the ground floor to a guy who makes arabesques wood carvings. I only see young boys working in it, as apparently, these intricate carvings can only be made by fine hands. Except on one occasion where Habibi almost sued the man for not paying rent for the last 2 years, I hardly see them at all.

Now BIL has moved in with his new bride on the apartment above us. Soon I'll be exposed to the customs, some I find a little bizarre. For the next 7 days, the newly-wedded couple is to spend it only at home. Food comes in big baskets being carried on top of the heads of the girl's relatives to her everyday. But the first day after their first night, was the most crucial day of all. It was not the night of nikaah as I first thought. It is the night after the big wedding ceremony in the hotel. (2 days after nikaah). After the event, the couple was ushered to their apartment by close family members. The next morning, they were expected to have spent the night (erm, together). The bride is supposed to hand in a cloth stained with her virginal blood to her MIL who will then give it to her mother. Just hearing about this tradition made me feel awkward, so I can only understand it when the next day, news was traveling within our house that the bride was still untouched. It was not a big deal in our house as it was with the bride's family. Her mother came with her husband and his 2 other wives to claim her glory but left hurriedly, disappointed and annoyed at both the bride and groom. She came back in the evening only with her husband, got what she wanted to know and left, not so pleased for missing her chance to boast earlier on. I sympathize with the poor young bride, with all the pressure on her, I really could understand why there was no performance.

3rd week
People say that marriage is contagious, and so it was little wonder that no sooner than a week after that, SIL got herself another proposal, this time, arranged by an Aunt from FIL’s side. I remembered on our last trip, Habibi turned down a proposal and that sent her straight to coma! Literally speaking. Due to her low blood pressure and the stress of potentially being left on the shelves (at 23 !!!), MIL found her on the floor refusing to respond. MIL quickly rushed to get a doctor from a nearby polyclinic whilst habibi tried his best to revive his beloved little sister. The doctor basically blocked air from her nose and mouth with his hands and that forced her to choke and respond. I was worried she might have swallowed an overdose amount of some cheap tablets, but Alhamdulillah, she didn’t. But she must have thought that the washing machine, oven stove and the whole lot of house equipments she has prepared herself with will be gone to waste when Habibi turned down the prospect. Girls here start collecting house stuffs as soon as they enter marriageable age, sometimes earlier with the help of well-meaning parents. Obviously, they don’t believe in saving the money in the banks because they didn’t realize that washing machines has only a 5 year guarantee period from the date of purchase! And good average looking, simple-minded, religious girls like SIL wait hopelessly for THAT proposal to come, as dating is a strict no-no.

Anyway, it was pure coincidence that Habibi is here this time to attend to her latest proposal. Nice young man with good religious background (he takes care of a local mosque), good education (law graduate), entrepreneur (has his own furniture company), and a son of the neighbour of their Aunt for years. He came only with his elder sister and the entourage of Aunt Nikmah’s family who came to support him. Habibi and me were out at that time but when we came home they were all waiting for the newly appointed ‘head of the family’. (Habibi officially took his father’s responsibility when he was asked to be the wakil for his brother’s nikaah). They were sitting in the formal living room area, where people actually sit on couches or decorative chairs with coffee tables for important discussions. Otherwise, this part of the house is barely touched as the main living room continues to be an informal set up of cushion pillows on a slightly raised wooden platform. Folks do everything here together; watch tv, talk, eat (eventhough technically they all own a grand 6-seater dining table) etc etc.

After some casual chit chats with everybody around, the woman moved to the informal living room to leave the men to talk. A few minutes later, the men leaves and SIL was invited into the formal living room where the young man was. They get to talk and get to know each other and see, at this point, if they are suitable enough for each other to move on. I get to witness all this on a very hungry tummy as dinner would have to wait until the guest leaves. I had to excuse myself to my apartment upstairs and leave the party as a hungry pregnant woman cannot be too participative, on top of the language barrier. When I came back down, I realized I missed a lot of important stuffs already. The initiation efforts by Aunty Nikmah’s entourage proved to be fruitful as the day of engagement was then set on Friday, which is like.. 3 days later! (And I thought me getting married 3 months after being proposed was bizarre!). SIL insisted that it be done whilst we were here therefore the great hurry. The young man knows what he wants and made his decision without hesitation and he will return to his home to inform his parents and elder siblings so as to make it official. So yesterday, I tagged along with MIL, SIL and the new wife of BIL to the gold shop near where the ‘fiance’ is living. At this point, the ‘bride-to-be’ will get to choose some rings for her engagement presents sponsored by her new ‘family’. Gold is much loved by the woman of Egypt and such a priceless possession, eventhough the quality and workmanship is ..erm..bad. Right after the purchases were made, MIL started yoddling, as women here do, as a sign of happiness and celebration.

There are many things to celebrate about this time on this trip to Giza. Firstly, I am glad that I survived the 3 weeks here without any clashes with Habibi. I guess making myself occupied with the renovating has helped a lot. Some days he came back from the seminar as late at 9pm and everybody has still not eaten waiting for him. (Most home cooked food here is baked, so it must be eaten together). Binti enjoyed herself tremendously especially when being carried on MIL’s shoulder when they go to the shop together. Now occasionally, I have problems asking her to walk down the stairs by herself. I find it very amusing how MIL can carry tons of stuffs on her head and still balance herself well. I’m pretty sure even supermodels at Elite were not trained to carry a gas cylinder and walk steadily.

We moved out of our new room earlier this week as the painting job continued. As forewarned by Habibi, it will not be finished by the time we leave at the rate these men are drinking tea more than doing actual work, but that’s ok. At least, I know I can look forward to more trips to Giza with all the ‘areas’ I can work on now. I’ve already choosen ceramics for the toilet and designed it myself and work will be done when we leave inshaallah.

Habibi got a few nice presents from his students at the seminar, who Alhamdulillah, appreciated his voluntary work and effort to save his country, people and Islam. May Allah accept his efforts and help them all, inshaallah. Ameen Ya Rabbanna Alameen. Yesterday was practically the last day we all have together (today is the official engagement day in the house, busy x 3) and so, I teamed up with the family to give Habibi an early-birthday surprise of an ice-cream cake complete with all 30 candles (I needed 2 more but would have to buy a whole packet of 10pcs), happy birthday songs in Arabic and English with everyone there. Alhamdulillah, he was pleasantly touched and even admitted to be almost moved to tears! I’m sure the best present of all for him from me, was my patience and understanding during the trip which he had prayed and hoped for. I’m glad I survived till the very last day with almost no problems at all. Alhamdulillah to the Creator. He made us weak, yet He made us see how he can help us when we are at our wits end if we believe and have faith in Him. I couldn’t have gone through this without His help. Shukur Alhamdulillah.