Umrah is a great act of worship that is obligatory upon every Muslim once in his life. The rewards and virtues of performing umrah are many, the Prophet (s) mentioned is a hadith, “Between one umrah and another is an expiation of sins”. Performing Umrah in the month of Ramadan has a special significance, the Prophet (s) said, “Whoever performs Umrah in Ramadan, receives the reward like one who performs Hajj with me.”
http://www.hajjandumrahtours.co.uk/umrahhow.htm
It was afterall, Habibi's business trip to Jeddah. We came along because I can't bear the thought of him driving for 10hours back and forth alone. Flights are all full at this time. And having been recently reunited (4 days to be exact) after almost 3 months of separation, I seriously don't think we can go through another one so soon.
It was an almost instantaneous decision as I had earlier wanted to stay to make sure we secure the deal for a new house. But I chickened out when Habibi returned from work and said he had to leave immediately. We packed whatever we could, and drove all the way to Jeddah.
At around subh time, we passed by Al-Taif, the station for Ihram. I hesitated to prepare myself as I was still dead tired from the trip. We moved on and passed by the holy land of Makkah to Jeddah. We spent one night and Jeddah and finally decided prepare ourselves for a visit to the Kaa'bah. There was no way I could have avoided it. We were already too close and will be driving through it. We drove close enough and then unloaded our important things and took a chartered car that drove us to Masjidil Haraam.
As I walked into an underground, I was unsure of what to expect. Very nervous, scared even, in case that I'll do something offensive without realising. Coming out of the underground, I saw even more people in their Ihram garb. Habibi told me to turn around, and there behind me, stood the majestic Masjidil Haraam. It was such a beautiful sight, and I was definitely intimidated.
With both kids with us, it was nearly impossible to perform umrah together, although I wanted very much to make my first Umrah with habibi. Habibi waited outside the mosque with the kids. Alhamdulillah Ibni was taking his afternoon nap, so it was just Habibi with Binti. I left them with mixed feelings. I wasn't sure what to do next or where to find the Kaa'bah or the mountains of Safa and Marwa. I have no idea what to expect, I'm definitely unprepared. Habibi briefed me quickly on what to do, and I brought along with me 2 pcs of paper where I have scribbled my notes that I had earlier written down (from an internet
site) at the hotel in Jeddah. I never thought that my first umrah would be a journey I'll be making all by myself.
I made my small steps towards Masjidil Haraam with the pair of cheap slippers Habibi had bought earlier. He said that footwears can get stolen, so it was better to have cheap ones since afterall, I'll have to leave it at the entrance of the mosque for a couple of hours. Upon entering the mosque, I prayed jama' Zuhr and Asr, 2 rakaats sunnah and then walked deep into the mosque to look for the gem. It was not hard to find since throngs of people are walking towards the centre of the mosque. Habibi reminded me earlier to ask for anything from Allah upon seeing the Kaabah for the first time - he said, the doa will be answered by Allah, inshaallah. As I walked towards the centre of the mosque, I feel my steps getting quicker and my heartbeat was fast as well. I saw the Kaabah between the pillars of the mosque and quickly made a silent prayer. I have no words to explain what I must have felt, but it was very emotional. I was almost choked with tears of joy upon seeing the beloved Ka'abah that I only prayed to all these while. The more I walked, the more I was hypnotized, felt as if I was floating towards to it. My worst fear was unfounded, Alhamdulillah and I praise Allah for letting me see his Ka'abah. I feel blessed to receive His invitation, at the same time very worried that I'm less than ready for it.
Coincidently, it was the 15th day of ramadhan and so it was pretty crowded. Right under the scorching midday desert sun, I looked out for the Black Stone where I should start my
Tawaaf. It was not hard to find as soon I realise the tawaaf slows down everytime we pass by the stone as many
jemaah tries to kiss and touch it. I wanted to touch it too, and tried to penetrate into the thickness of the crowd, but it was quite impossible and most of them are men, so I decided to go without and sneak out to the outer rim of the circle of human chain. I was alone, but I was not alone. I was walking side by side with fellow muslims from all over the world. Under Allah's eyes, I am just like them. A different color, a different language, but that does not divide us here in Allah's land. I prayed two rakaat's at Maqam Ibrahim after the
tawaaf and headed to find Safa & Marwa for
Sai'. As it was Ramadhan, I had to skip the part of drinking ZamZam, but I did pour some over my hejab and my face to cool down and to refresh myself.
Perhaps non-muslims or even muslims must find it amusing that we have to walk from mountain to mountain and then back again 7 times. I did too, but that thought was quickly replaced by humility after remembering the
history and event. It was here that I realised that this journey can only performed with complete faith and believing in the wisdom of our Creator. I walked and did zikr, although sometimes my thoughts were with my children who must be uncomfortable waiting out there for me for very long. I saw the clock and it took me almost an hour to complete the
sai'. After the exit at Marwa, I tried to find my way back to my beloved family but got a little lost. I also don't know where to find my slippers which I had earlier left at a pillar near the entrance. The heat was burning the grounds and I tried to withstand it. It was much easier walking on cemented grounds than on marble with that temperature. I went back into the mosque and tried to find the exit by walking from inside the mosque. It was quite a long journey but alhamdulillah, I managed to find the place where I left my family. Just before I came out, I visited the Zam Zam taps again to freshen up, and found a plastic cup on the floor. I picked up the cup and filled it with Zam Zam to bring to my children. Habibi decided to perform Umrah later that evening since it was quite late and it will be time for Iftar soon. We were also running out of cash so we had to check in into a cheap hotel to stay overnight. Alhamdulillah, what we had was enough to cover our expenses, our iftar, our petrol for the way back to Riyadh. This in itself was an irony since we were staying in a posh hotel and ate lavishly for iftar just the day before in Jeddah.
Habibi left us after Iftar and performed his 2nd umrah since he came to Saudi Arabia. Alhamdulillah.
I knew that coming here was great because we are able to do Umrah as often as we like, but I never expected it to be so soon. I'm still overwhelmed by the whole experience, and I'm still nervous at the thought of the next one.
This ramadhan may have been difficult for us being still 'homeless' at this point, being separated for awhile and still uncertain of what will happen next, but it must be the best Ramadhan of all because His invitation makes it all worthwhile.
Alhamdulillahirabbeelalameen...
ALLAH AKHBAR
ALLAH AKHBAR
ALLAH AKHBAR
